1) Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada
achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki
aadat bohot achi Lagti Hay...
2) Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot
pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang: Beta, hal hota to
mein malang kiu banta..?
3) Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to
kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi.
4) Wife: Main bazar ja rahi hoon,
mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!
Husband (ghusay se): Tumhen Rupay se ziada
aqal ki zaroorat hai!
Wife: Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai,
jo aap k pass mojood hai!
5) wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to aik
Faqeer ne kaha: Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai
to zaroor andha ho ga.
6) An old man married a young Girl,
Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein
Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?
Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.
7) They say that when a man holds a woman's hand
before marriage, it is love;
After marriage: It is self-defense
8)Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag
to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
"What other problem can there be greater than this one?
9)How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then...
Yr 7. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 8. Tum aate ho k main aaon?
10) Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent
Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De
11) Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:
Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur
Boli Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti
12)Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill !!!
13) Whats the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date
and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi
utna sir chad ke bolegi.
14)Husband:u will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense its only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.
And Finally... the ultimate one... (This proves how innocent men are)
15) Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye
tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha,?Koun Thi Wo?
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi poochhegi.
Subject: Husband and Wife Jokes!!!!! 
Sat 01 May 2010, 11:44 am
